Day 387: Writing out my fears
Maybe because of the heat wave going through California, but I’ve had a recurring headache for the past week, as well as IBS issues. It was too difficult to focus and work when I was so uncomfortable, so I just took several sick days while trying to get my body back under control. I read a lot, which also refilled the creative well, which was honestly feeling a bit dry.
I’m easing back into work today. Not sure how much I’ll get done, but I’m not intending to push myself too much since I still have lingering IBS issues.
After going through all the Snowflake step 6 (extended synopses) for the rest of the books in the series, I’m a bit impatient to write these books. I want to write these stories, but I also have to admit that a part of me just likes the idea of having the series done sooner rather than later. I think it’s what James Scott Bell (I think it was him) referred to as, “I don’t want to write, I want to have written.” I fully admit I love the feeling of satisfaction when a project is completed, so that’s part of it. I also have lots of other stories I want to write.
In the past few weeks, I came up with a lot of story ideas for a separate fantasy serial novel, also, and I think that I will continue to brainstorm and outline to develop that on Saturdays. It’s a mental vacation from the the Regency London world of my story, and I would really like to release it on Kindle Vella, just for kicks. I realize it’s YET ANOTHER genre I’d be writing in, but to be honest, I’m reading more fantasy these days (and historical fantasy) so it doesn’t seem like a huge departure from my normal writing fare.
This all has motivated me to continue to work on improving and optimizing my productivity. It has been quite a battle to figure out what methods work for me and my personality, since things I never expected to work have ended up appealing to me more.
And my mindset has changed significantly, too—I want to develop a system that enables me to really ENJOY writing. If writing each book is a slog, it would be too hard to churn out books quickly. But if I develop a system that makes the writing as fun and enjoyable as possible for my personality and tastes, then I’m more likely to continue to write and release books at a constant pace.
This mindset has helped me stop feeling like such a weirdo that I outline in such detail, and that I spend so much time outlining and blocking before writing any prose. I honestly don’t know anyone else who outlines like I do. But since it helps the writing go smoothly and reduces the things I have to fix in edits, which makes the writing process much easier and more enjoyable for me, I am more than willing to do this kind of detailed outlining. I’m still developing the system, but I hope it will enable me to continue to release the rest of the books in this Regency series every 3-4 months.
I’m also struggling to let go of the “fear of missing out” that I’m utilizing a slower, edit-as-I-go writing style now, too. Practically every writing book suggests you vomit words for the first draft, and I can totally see how that would enable you to write with less inhibitions and more creative variety. I am still worried that, in editing-as-I-go, my writing is not as creative as it could be if I vomited it out.
I have to remember the advice in Dear Writer, You Need to Quit—Question the Premise. Something that works for others may not work for me if it doesn’t align with my personality and psychological landscape. In trying to work around my dislike of self-editing, I’ve come to the realization that the writing simply isn’t fun for me if I have to do an intensive self-edit. Also, because my self-editing tends to lapse into sloppiness, the final product isn’t always as polished as it could be. In order to avoid the problem I had with book 1 in my series, where I procrastinated doing the self-editing for literally months, it’s better if I have a cleaner first draft.
I hadn’t intended to ramble for quite so long, but I wanted to write down the fears I’m feeling today as I get back to work after several sick days. That actually made me feel a lot better and clearer in the head. Maybe I should do that regularly.
Today, I’m working on book 4 in the series. I have one (maybe two) plot problems I have to iron out, then I can start blocking the first few scenes so that I can begin writing. Or I might decide to block the entire book first before writing, I haven’t decided yet.
As I mentioned last week, I’m trying a new system where I’ve put off my exercise and Japanese learning in order to do some writing earlier in the day, and sooner after I wake up, to see if my fresher mental state helps me write any better. It’s kind of subjective and not quantifiable, unfortunately, but I’ll continue to try it and record how I feel.
***
I was aiming for 5 hours of work but ended up stopping early because I was feeling really tired. I was also sore because my upper back started bothering me, and it was distracting while I was writing. I think I’ll stop here and go to bed early tonight.
Outlining: time spent: 3 hours, 29 minutes
Blocking: time spent: 0
Editing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Total number of words: n/a
Writing: Overall writing speed: n/a
Time spent doing other writing-related business: 31 minutes
My takeaway for today: Try to make a habit of writing down my fears before writing work for the day, to express my feelings and get them out.
I’m easing back into work today. Not sure how much I’ll get done, but I’m not intending to push myself too much since I still have lingering IBS issues.
After going through all the Snowflake step 6 (extended synopses) for the rest of the books in the series, I’m a bit impatient to write these books. I want to write these stories, but I also have to admit that a part of me just likes the idea of having the series done sooner rather than later. I think it’s what James Scott Bell (I think it was him) referred to as, “I don’t want to write, I want to have written.” I fully admit I love the feeling of satisfaction when a project is completed, so that’s part of it. I also have lots of other stories I want to write.
In the past few weeks, I came up with a lot of story ideas for a separate fantasy serial novel, also, and I think that I will continue to brainstorm and outline to develop that on Saturdays. It’s a mental vacation from the the Regency London world of my story, and I would really like to release it on Kindle Vella, just for kicks. I realize it’s YET ANOTHER genre I’d be writing in, but to be honest, I’m reading more fantasy these days (and historical fantasy) so it doesn’t seem like a huge departure from my normal writing fare.
This all has motivated me to continue to work on improving and optimizing my productivity. It has been quite a battle to figure out what methods work for me and my personality, since things I never expected to work have ended up appealing to me more.
And my mindset has changed significantly, too—I want to develop a system that enables me to really ENJOY writing. If writing each book is a slog, it would be too hard to churn out books quickly. But if I develop a system that makes the writing as fun and enjoyable as possible for my personality and tastes, then I’m more likely to continue to write and release books at a constant pace.
This mindset has helped me stop feeling like such a weirdo that I outline in such detail, and that I spend so much time outlining and blocking before writing any prose. I honestly don’t know anyone else who outlines like I do. But since it helps the writing go smoothly and reduces the things I have to fix in edits, which makes the writing process much easier and more enjoyable for me, I am more than willing to do this kind of detailed outlining. I’m still developing the system, but I hope it will enable me to continue to release the rest of the books in this Regency series every 3-4 months.
I’m also struggling to let go of the “fear of missing out” that I’m utilizing a slower, edit-as-I-go writing style now, too. Practically every writing book suggests you vomit words for the first draft, and I can totally see how that would enable you to write with less inhibitions and more creative variety. I am still worried that, in editing-as-I-go, my writing is not as creative as it could be if I vomited it out.
I have to remember the advice in Dear Writer, You Need to Quit—Question the Premise. Something that works for others may not work for me if it doesn’t align with my personality and psychological landscape. In trying to work around my dislike of self-editing, I’ve come to the realization that the writing simply isn’t fun for me if I have to do an intensive self-edit. Also, because my self-editing tends to lapse into sloppiness, the final product isn’t always as polished as it could be. In order to avoid the problem I had with book 1 in my series, where I procrastinated doing the self-editing for literally months, it’s better if I have a cleaner first draft.
I hadn’t intended to ramble for quite so long, but I wanted to write down the fears I’m feeling today as I get back to work after several sick days. That actually made me feel a lot better and clearer in the head. Maybe I should do that regularly.
Today, I’m working on book 4 in the series. I have one (maybe two) plot problems I have to iron out, then I can start blocking the first few scenes so that I can begin writing. Or I might decide to block the entire book first before writing, I haven’t decided yet.
As I mentioned last week, I’m trying a new system where I’ve put off my exercise and Japanese learning in order to do some writing earlier in the day, and sooner after I wake up, to see if my fresher mental state helps me write any better. It’s kind of subjective and not quantifiable, unfortunately, but I’ll continue to try it and record how I feel.
***
I was aiming for 5 hours of work but ended up stopping early because I was feeling really tired. I was also sore because my upper back started bothering me, and it was distracting while I was writing. I think I’ll stop here and go to bed early tonight.
Outlining: time spent: 3 hours, 29 minutes
Blocking: time spent: 0
Editing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Total number of words: n/a
Writing: Overall writing speed: n/a
Time spent doing other writing-related business: 31 minutes
My takeaway for today: Try to make a habit of writing down my fears before writing work for the day, to express my feelings and get them out.
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