Day 407: Lack of motivation
I spent most of the weekend reading and watching Netflix, which makes me think my creative well might have been a little dry. But then Monday rolled around and I still didn’t quite feel like working.
I should have pushed through the laziness and lack of motivation. After all, if I were still working in biotech, I’d still have to go to work regardless of if I felt like it or not.
But since I’m not working in biotech, I took the path of least resistance and took Monday off, too. I’d like to call it something cool like a “mental health day,” since I did feel mentally tired and I spent most of the day reading and recharging, but let’s call a spade a spade. I admit I played hookey from work, just because I felt lazy.
I realize no one is perfect and so I shouldn’t expect to be perfect, either. But I do feel kind of guilty since I’m self-employed, which means I need more self-discipline.
I’m not entirely sure why I felt so lazy yesterday (this entire weekend, actually—I didn’t do any writing-related work on Saturday). Physically, I was feeling okay-ish—I didn’t have any headaches, and the IBS was a little uncomfortable at times but not bad. The weather was super hot, and since we don’t have air conditioning, it was pretty miserable in the house, but I had a swamp cooler going in my office so it was bearable.
I spent time reading, but I also spent time updating my book catalog (which is not yet complete, and I have a lot more entries before it will be). I was very satisfied that I got work done on my book catalog, which is not writing-related, but it’s important to me since I wouldn’t remember what I’ve read or what I thought about a book without it.
However, it wasn’t as if I had a burning need to update the catalog that moment—I just happened to do it. It wasn’t like when I’m feeling creatively dry and need to read or watch something to refresh my brain.
So ultimately I still don’t know why I felt so unmotivated yesterday, which bothers me, because if I don’t know why I was unmotivated, then I can’t fix it. I suppose it’s not a huge issue since I haven’t had many days like it, but I’ll keep it in mind in case I have another day like that sometime soon.
Today I’m still working on blocking and filling out the scene spreadsheet for book 4 in my Regency series. I’m slowly getting more done on the book.
I’m also trying out working outside today on my iPad rather than in my office, partly because the weather is pretty nice today, and partly to shake things up. I was feeling a bit unmotivated when working last week—it might have been the hot weather, or my IBS, or maybe I was creatively dry at the time. I don’t know the reason, but when starting work this morning, I thought I’d try something new to see if that helps me focus better.
The problem with working on my iPad is that it doesn’t have all the capabilities of my computer, which makes things a little inconvenient. However, I’m going to give it a shot. I have Scrivener for iPad, so I’ll be able to look up information when I need to, but I’ll do most of my blocking writing work in 4thewords.com. I’ve already copied and pasted my synopsis notes in 4thewords, so I’ll be able to just add to those as I block each scene.
***
Writing on my iPad ended up being a bit frustrating because not all my files synced perfectly for some reason. I thought I’d made sure all my files were synced with Dropbox, but I’m seeing older versions on my iPad for some reason. I feel incredibly frustrated because I hate losing stuff I’ve written!
***
I worked for about 3 hours, then took a break. Maybe because I got disheartened by the fact I lost a little bit of data, but it was hard to motivate myself to get back to work after I’d taken a break. Or maybe it’s because I recently slacked off, but I was tempted to just stop work for the day and read a little before going to bed early. I did eventually get back to work, but it was hard!
I think the takeaway for me is that if I give in to the temptation to be lazy, then it’s harder for me to have self-discipline in the days afterward. So I really need to keep that in mind and just try to keep trudging along.
It’s not as if I don’t enjoy the book. I really like it! But lately it’s been tough for me to focus for long periods of time. If I can get into that focused state, the time flies by pretty fast.
Maybe the solution is to eliminate even more distractions so that I can focus better. I wonder if I need to work solely in Scrivener rather than in 4thewords? That thought kind of makes me sad. I really love doing my writing in 4thewords because, well, monsters! It’s also pretty motivating to start a large word count monster and then write until it’s defeated.
I’ll see how well I can focus the rest of today. If my focus really plummets today and the next few days, I might need to get off 4thewords and only into Scrivener to see if that helps.
***
Maybe because I had threatened myself with going offline to work only in Scrivener, but I used the motivation of monsters in 4thewords to focus a bit better this afternoon!
As I mentioned earlier, large word count monsters can be motivating to keep me working until the monster is defeated.
Earlier today, I had started some relatively large word count monsters—Nuig, which are 850 words (kind of pretty, isn’t it?). It took a little longer than an hour for each one, and I did 3 of them, so I got quite a bit done on my blocking.
After the break (and after I forced myself back to work), I deliberately started another large word count monster, an Oxraso, which is 1000 words (isn’t this one adorable?). Because it was so many words, I had to focus and keep working in order to defeat it.
When I finished one Oxraso, I checked how long I’d been working and knew I needed to work at least another hour or 90 minutes, so I started another Oxraso in order to force myself to keep working and not quit. And once I’d started the monster, I had to keep going, so I couldn’t just stop in the middle of it. If I’d been doing small word count monsters, I might have given in to the temptation to just stop once a monster had been defeated.
Thanks to my large word count monsters, I got a lot more work done today than I would have thought, considering my lack of motivation after my break.
Outlining: time spent: 0
Blocking: time spent: 5 hours, 8 minutes
Editing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Total number of words: n/a
Writing: Overall writing speed: n/a
Time spent doing other writing-related business: 25 minutes
My takeaway for today: If I give in to the temptation to be lazy, then it’s harder for me to have self-discipline in the days afterward, so I need to really be careful not to have lazy days like that, or they could derail my productivity in the days after.
My second takeaway for today: Large word count monsters in 4thewords really help me keep plugging along and working even when I don’t feel like it, since I can’t quit in the middle of the monster.
I should have pushed through the laziness and lack of motivation. After all, if I were still working in biotech, I’d still have to go to work regardless of if I felt like it or not.
But since I’m not working in biotech, I took the path of least resistance and took Monday off, too. I’d like to call it something cool like a “mental health day,” since I did feel mentally tired and I spent most of the day reading and recharging, but let’s call a spade a spade. I admit I played hookey from work, just because I felt lazy.
I realize no one is perfect and so I shouldn’t expect to be perfect, either. But I do feel kind of guilty since I’m self-employed, which means I need more self-discipline.
I’m not entirely sure why I felt so lazy yesterday (this entire weekend, actually—I didn’t do any writing-related work on Saturday). Physically, I was feeling okay-ish—I didn’t have any headaches, and the IBS was a little uncomfortable at times but not bad. The weather was super hot, and since we don’t have air conditioning, it was pretty miserable in the house, but I had a swamp cooler going in my office so it was bearable.
I spent time reading, but I also spent time updating my book catalog (which is not yet complete, and I have a lot more entries before it will be). I was very satisfied that I got work done on my book catalog, which is not writing-related, but it’s important to me since I wouldn’t remember what I’ve read or what I thought about a book without it.
However, it wasn’t as if I had a burning need to update the catalog that moment—I just happened to do it. It wasn’t like when I’m feeling creatively dry and need to read or watch something to refresh my brain.
So ultimately I still don’t know why I felt so unmotivated yesterday, which bothers me, because if I don’t know why I was unmotivated, then I can’t fix it. I suppose it’s not a huge issue since I haven’t had many days like it, but I’ll keep it in mind in case I have another day like that sometime soon.
Today I’m still working on blocking and filling out the scene spreadsheet for book 4 in my Regency series. I’m slowly getting more done on the book.
I’m also trying out working outside today on my iPad rather than in my office, partly because the weather is pretty nice today, and partly to shake things up. I was feeling a bit unmotivated when working last week—it might have been the hot weather, or my IBS, or maybe I was creatively dry at the time. I don’t know the reason, but when starting work this morning, I thought I’d try something new to see if that helps me focus better.
The problem with working on my iPad is that it doesn’t have all the capabilities of my computer, which makes things a little inconvenient. However, I’m going to give it a shot. I have Scrivener for iPad, so I’ll be able to look up information when I need to, but I’ll do most of my blocking writing work in 4thewords.com. I’ve already copied and pasted my synopsis notes in 4thewords, so I’ll be able to just add to those as I block each scene.
***
Writing on my iPad ended up being a bit frustrating because not all my files synced perfectly for some reason. I thought I’d made sure all my files were synced with Dropbox, but I’m seeing older versions on my iPad for some reason. I feel incredibly frustrated because I hate losing stuff I’ve written!
***
I worked for about 3 hours, then took a break. Maybe because I got disheartened by the fact I lost a little bit of data, but it was hard to motivate myself to get back to work after I’d taken a break. Or maybe it’s because I recently slacked off, but I was tempted to just stop work for the day and read a little before going to bed early. I did eventually get back to work, but it was hard!
I think the takeaway for me is that if I give in to the temptation to be lazy, then it’s harder for me to have self-discipline in the days afterward. So I really need to keep that in mind and just try to keep trudging along.
It’s not as if I don’t enjoy the book. I really like it! But lately it’s been tough for me to focus for long periods of time. If I can get into that focused state, the time flies by pretty fast.
Maybe the solution is to eliminate even more distractions so that I can focus better. I wonder if I need to work solely in Scrivener rather than in 4thewords? That thought kind of makes me sad. I really love doing my writing in 4thewords because, well, monsters! It’s also pretty motivating to start a large word count monster and then write until it’s defeated.
I’ll see how well I can focus the rest of today. If my focus really plummets today and the next few days, I might need to get off 4thewords and only into Scrivener to see if that helps.
***
Maybe because I had threatened myself with going offline to work only in Scrivener, but I used the motivation of monsters in 4thewords to focus a bit better this afternoon!
As I mentioned earlier, large word count monsters can be motivating to keep me working until the monster is defeated.
When I finished one Oxraso, I checked how long I’d been working and knew I needed to work at least another hour or 90 minutes, so I started another Oxraso in order to force myself to keep working and not quit. And once I’d started the monster, I had to keep going, so I couldn’t just stop in the middle of it. If I’d been doing small word count monsters, I might have given in to the temptation to just stop once a monster had been defeated.
Thanks to my large word count monsters, I got a lot more work done today than I would have thought, considering my lack of motivation after my break.
Outlining: time spent: 0
Blocking: time spent: 5 hours, 8 minutes
Editing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Time spent: 0
Writing: Total number of words: n/a
Writing: Overall writing speed: n/a
Time spent doing other writing-related business: 25 minutes
My takeaway for today: If I give in to the temptation to be lazy, then it’s harder for me to have self-discipline in the days afterward, so I need to really be careful not to have lazy days like that, or they could derail my productivity in the days after.
My second takeaway for today: Large word count monsters in 4thewords really help me keep plugging along and working even when I don’t feel like it, since I can’t quit in the middle of the monster.
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